a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
