My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
