Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...

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(+26): View more from

And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.

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(330): View more from Ohio

She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.

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(786): View more from Florida

I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.

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(801): View more from Utah

my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.

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(850): View more from Florida

It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis

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(678): View more from Georgia

Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.

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(518): View more from New York

I'm not coming to work today because tequila

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(646): View more from New York

he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.

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