Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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