go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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