i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
