So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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