He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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