so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
