NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
