Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
