I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
