I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
