So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
