Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
