Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
