You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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