I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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