I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
