I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
