oh god the rape fog is back!
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
This baby is an asshole
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
When are your genitals available?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
