Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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