We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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