I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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