I just pynch a tree in the face
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
