My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
