well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
