please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
