i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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