I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
