D3 body, D1 cock
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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