hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
