this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
