I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize