Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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