Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
