so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
