don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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