i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
there is puke in my bra ... again
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