I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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