shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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