matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
