just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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