well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
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