It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
