ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
