dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
