The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
