based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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