is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
honey bunches of taint.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
