And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
