Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
