Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
