i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
