Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She bit a glass in half.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize