smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
