no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
