I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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