I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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